Loving The Wounded Heart

A heart closes from pain and not feeling worthy of being loved. Sometimes one can live a life not realizing that their childhood created trauma to their heart. As a society, we are raised to believe that the generational dis-ease of the body is gifted to us. I believe how we are treated by our parents, family, friends and society manifests a closed heart. A closed heart eventually builds a “program” of suffering. 

The pain of our childhood ends up being brought forward to define who we will show the world we are as adults. The pain can be words or actions. Whatever it is, it is unbearable to a child. A child becomes an adult and believes in protecting the “self”. In that protection, the adult’s heart closes. 

Life is full of choices. How we treat one another is key to whether we have a wounded heart or an open, loving heart. The causes of a wounded heart can be abandonment, addiction, abuse, betrayal, fear, low-self-esteem, or the simple belief that we are alone and cannot trust anyone.

We choose to protect ourselves by a defense pattern convinced that we are alone, that we are not important, and that no one loves us as we are. This defense tends to create a need to self-pity, criticize, judge, and attack others. Those who have a wounded heart often move forward in life unaware of their thoughts, words, and actions toward others. A lifetime lived in this manner will eventually take its toll on the individual themself, as well as people around them. 

What is needed for the wounded heart to heal? Awareness, Change, Trust, and Belief! 

1.Awareness stems from paying attention to how one thinks, speaks, and acts toward others. Awareness is the choice to stop and think before speaking, acting or attacking anyone for their choices in life. No one knows what is best for another person. 

2. Change begins when awareness is created. The tools to add can be many: affirmations, prayer, meditation, Mother Nature, and so forth. Standing on one’s own two feet is the start of change. Inside Angelic Academy, we call this standing on one’s own two feet sovereignty. You are your own sovereign, and no one can choose or create anything for you that you do not allow. 

3. Trust comes forward when we learn to believe that we do matter, a reason for being that is based in love. Trust happens when we believe in our heart’s passion and purpose. Awareness, change, and trust in self allow for the path to change and happiness to ignite. All have the right to exist, be nurtured and be fulfilled. 

4. Belief allows the wounded heart to open and move toward self-love, a gift that grows and expands the mind to acquire teachings of the spirit. Choosing a soul-aligned, heart-anchored way of being is a path that awaits all. With sovereignty, motivation and support, a wounded heart can open to love. 

All of us have a passionate gift and purpose to fulfill. What stirs the heart to create is key to one’s inspiration for passion. Daily, part by part, the heart can heal with the simple act of consciously choosing  love. It’s all in the choice, which is based on the consciousness. 

The challenge for a wounded heart is its fear of change. Yet, it is the action of change that is required. Those who have a closed heart are unaware of their own pain, especially, if it has been with them since childhood. It became their truth or belief system, and as adults they believe it is who they are and will always be. 

Think of those in your life who show signs of a wounded heart. The first sign is that they are negative, as their first choice, no matter what. This is a distortion of love. The second sign is that they are constantly complaining and blaming someone else for everything in their lives; this is a distortion of sovereignty. The last sign is that they need to control all situations and people at all times because they know what is best; this is a distortion of trust and innate inter-connection. 

They cannot be happy if these are their choices. Unhappy internally, they look toward others to make them happy. However, seeking internal happiness through others is impossible! No one, other than yourself, holds the power to make you happy in life. We are all given “free will” to make conscious, sovereign choices in life. Whether we are happy or not is up to us individually.

The pain and fear of not being happy is draining and crippling to all concerned. The best way to live with a wounded person is to accept them as they are, love them unconditionally and know that you are a light for them in their darkest times. There is balance needed in life. The wounded heart of a loved one can be your greatest teacher. 

Being accepting, adaptable and aware of the love a wounded heart needs is the greatest gift you can offer. Will it be easy? As with all things, sometimes yes and sometimes no. At times, the most difficult situations will arise to challenge you to quit. But, remember a wounded heart is a young child who is terrified of life. The mask that the wounded loved one wears has been in place for a long time. 

Those who live with fear and pain daily develop their own defense pattern as a protection against the self from the outside world that is unsafe, has been unsafe, or was perceived to be unsafe to them. They have no trust and no love of self. They exist by choosing to live closed-off, based on the pain of how they were treated as a child. Even if they are not aware of this choice, a closed person with a closed heart is who they believe they are. 

If one does not accept, inner-stand or know that they are suffering, and cannot or chooses not to change, trust that it is designed that way. No one can change them but them. Offer unconditional love, support, and your inner light to brighten their way.

All My Love, 

Linda